6 Months in Heaven

6 months ago today you went to heaven. You were finally set free from all of the pain and suffering your cancer ridden body had to endure for far too long. Over those past 6 months the numbness that I originally felt after your death has slowly started to fade away. I now occasionally find myself allowing my mind to go places I never let it wander to before. I have allowed myself to feel all of the things I suppressed when you were sick. Allowing myself to feel and remember all of the horrible things cancer did to you and your 230lb healthy body is so incredibly painful, yet I think it's important for me to feel those things in this lovely process we call grieving. I think it's important to acknowledge not only the good, but the bad and the ugly as well, as suppressing it sure as heck hasn't made it go away. Those memories and reality of cancer bring me to tears because it's just not fair. You deserve to be here and we deserve to be enjoying our first year of marriage together as husband and wife. However, that is not my reality. My reality is, I'm a widow who fiercely honors and protects the memory of her late husband like it's her job and I'm so proud to do so. I miss you more than you'll ever know babe. I hope you never stop sending me signs and guiding my life in the beautiful way you have thus far. I shared your Keep Going statement tonight at Music & Memories along with some of my favorite memories. Many guests came up to me after and thanked me for sharing. They were moved by your wise and encouraging words as they usually are. You continue to inspire people just like you had hoped even after you're gone and I will always make sure you are never forgotten 💙 #6monthsinheaven #fuckcancer #synovialsarcoma #sarcomaawareness #dec13th2016 #keepgoing #neverdieeasy #livelikejp #neverforgotten #medalsofhonor #musicandmemories #ltpowell #armyranger #powellpartyof2 #joshpowellfoundation